Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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