I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
