You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
