I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
