If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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