when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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