You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize