cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
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