the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Randomize
