Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Randomize
