I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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