he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
