I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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