Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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