You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
