Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
The air was thick with penises
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
