My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
