Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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