how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
The air was thick with penises
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize