Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
