i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
