tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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