Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
