When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
