yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
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