420 ftw
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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