Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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