Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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