i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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