T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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