yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
