all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
