Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
