been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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