Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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