You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
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