I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Small penises have feelings too.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize