He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Randomize
