I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize