I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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