he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
