I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
