Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize