i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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