I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize