i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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