just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
