I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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