shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
And then my night got REAL pukey
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
