The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
