Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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