Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Randomize
