TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
