i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
