Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
