the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
