he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I checked into jail on foursquare
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
