there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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