she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
