I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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